October 2012

The girls track off from school - Hooray!!!

                                              

 Gardner's Village

                                      

 California!  Chris came with us this time!  It is so heavenly to beach it every day and spend so much time with my parents.  Love it!

 The Strong's came for a few days!

                                     

 The first snow of the season... this little one begged to go make "angels".  She stayed outside for about 5 minutes.

 Getting our pumpkins...

 Halloween!

I can't move onto November without mentioning this... In August, we found out we were expecting a baby again!  The joy and excitement we felt was un-measurable   I really didn't think it was going to happen for us again.  We kept the news quiet to ensure a healthy growing baby before we told the girls.  At almost 12 weeks, I had had 4 ultrasounds showing a strong heartbeat each time with the proper growth.  We decided it was time to tell the girls.  They were beyond happy with the news.  We also decided since it was our last, we wanted to have a big gender reveal party to find out what we were having.  I went in for an ultrasound at 14 weeks, with an envelope for the tech to mark the gender.  I wasn't finding out until the party that night.  The tech found the gender quickly, while I was looking away.  She then told me she would position the wand so I'd be able to watch the rest.  She paused and then broke the horrendous news that she couldn't find the heartbeat.  I freaked out.  I immediately looked at the screen to see a perfect little baby!  The cutest little profile, arms, legs, but sure enough, no heartbeat.  I asked her if she was able to tell what it was - A BOY!  I ran out of the appt devastated!  I called Chris bawling, I called my doctor, I called my Mom and sisters.  How could this be happening???  I went to my doctors office after picking Chris up and the horrible news was confirmed.  Sometime in the last few days before this appt, our baby's heart had stopped beating.  There were no signs of trauma or any indication of what had happened.  I was scheduled for a D&C two days later.  The devastation was too much for me to handle.  I have never shed so many tears.  The girls were stunned and heartbroken as well.  Why does this keep happening, they asked.  The doctor ran every possible test to see what could have gone wrong - the answer... No medical explanation, every single test came back normal, even the baby's tests!  And, after the genetic testing came back, it revealed that the baby was A GIRL!!!  I'm not sure what we are suppose to learn from these losses... all we want is another baby!  Why is this too much to ask?  We now have a 3rd baby waiting for us up in heaven.  We decided after much discussion that this baby's name is Baby Angel!  We so look forward to the day when we can meet these sweet souls that belong in our family!